tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post111863526777761870..comments2023-09-01T10:02:45.320-04:00Comments on Dreams Really do Come True!: Adoption LanguageMelbahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16058896619253076094noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-53454832018075247392008-11-17T03:40:00.000-05:002008-11-17T03:40:00.000-05:00I just stumbled across you blog, and I must polite...I just stumbled across you blog, and I must politely disagree with the idea that it is preferable to say "I was adopted" to saying "I am adopted." As an adoptee, to say "I was adopted" suggests that 36 years ago I got myself a new set of parents and that was that. The fact of the matter is, I AM adopted and that fact shapes so much of who I am both directly and indirectly that to suggest it is simply a thing of the past does a disservice to the importance it plays in someone's life on an ongoing basis.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-64448009422873875692008-11-03T13:57:00.000-05:002008-11-03T13:57:00.000-05:00I remember learning all these in our adoption semi...I remember learning all these in our adoption seminar too. We actully broke off into groups and had to discuss a lot of the verbage out there and decide if it was bad, good or didn't matter. it was really neat to see what other ppl thought of all these words! I agree with all the ones you have here though! great postaliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15026378388609134143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-35317245389071304802008-11-02T01:23:00.000-04:002008-11-02T01:23:00.000-04:00Melba- You always have such touching posts! Than...Melba- You always have such touching posts! Thank you so much for sharing this. I am still thinking of you guys and checking on you often.<BR/>Hugs-JillJillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00451415090058055212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-23129880543251935142008-11-01T09:46:00.000-04:002008-11-01T09:46:00.000-04:00Good idea for a post...I may have to borrow it for...Good idea for a post...I may have to borrow it for my family and friends to read;)<BR/><BR/>The one I think about frequently is the "he/she IS adopted". Most people don't really think of what that means. I feel that I'll always be conscious of hearing that and wanting to educate that our child WAS adopted, he/she is not adopted everyday. It was just how our child came into our life and it was a one-time event. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing the list:)Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11994892007485220299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-32181518257744713192008-10-31T21:00:00.000-04:002008-10-31T21:00:00.000-04:00Great list. Your two main ones are the ones I stru...Great list. Your two main ones are the ones I struggle with the most. I hear them so often and depending on the situation correct when I respond. Like, why'd she give her up? I respond with, she placed her for adoption because....<BR/><BR/>Adoptive parenting is Parenting Plus!Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15484607337052505871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-34992365956582297462008-10-31T18:13:00.000-04:002008-10-31T18:13:00.000-04:00One thing that I have learned especially since we ...One thing that I have learned especially since we have had contact with a young lady that is expecting and planning on placing her child for adoption is that every adoption is unique. Every journey is unique. The term "gave up" really grates on my nerves and I cringe when I hear people using it, but I also understand that this is what they have most likely have heard and do not know any different. Just like the term birthmom, it is commonly used by many adoption agencies so it is what most adoptive parents are more comfortable with. It isn't that they are wishing to be inconsiderate of expectant moms, that is just the term that they are most familiar with. But since starting the adoption process I have really tried to refrain from using birthmom before actual relinquishment...they are expectant moms. I have grown so much during this process but like I have said others will have different journeys.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for this post it does make one think and maybe reconsider words that they may normally use.LLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10456346448934464767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852456697006944257.post-22228643500343031052008-10-31T16:42:00.000-04:002008-10-31T16:42:00.000-04:00This is one of those things that differ from perso...This is one of those things that differ from person to person, especially when speaking of different members of the tirad. For instance, my agency encourages the use of "placed" versus "gave-up" (which is funny because we are using the same agency, just a different geographic location!).<BR/> <BR/>Your list seems very child centered. I've seen lots of brith parent sites that are offended by the term Birth or biological parent. They prefer natural or first parent - but I can see how that would be confusing to a child (and threatening to a parent- but that isn't my point) <BR/><BR/>Something else I find interesting is how as a society we can create things for our children to be offended by. <BR/><BR/>I hope that I am able to get all of my family and friends speaking PAL before I have children. That way, I do not feel the need to correct people too often and create words that my children will be offended by (whether they should be offended by them or not). <BR/><BR/>It is hard to know what is right or wrong. I think your two main points are very important and fairly concrete. The rest is a little up to interpretation and personal preferance, which makes it very hard to know what is correct or not.Brihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15827049920771791750noreply@blogger.com