Our son is still the most precious and adorable bundle of joy I've ever laid eyes on but he is going through a n.a.u.g.h.t.y phase right now. When he was a baby, my younger sister said, "He's got a dimple. You know toddlers with dimples are always making trouble, right?" I wasn't expecting her to be correct quite so soon! His behavior is especially challenging for me because, in his typical all-boy style, he seems to actually enjoy getting into trouble. For example, he knows he's not supposed to eat crayons and yet every time we give him one, he puts it up to his mouth and grins mischievously. When I take the crayons away, he laughs. Given that, it's clear that the best plan of attack would be for me to ignore the unwanted behavior. That does work some of the time, but then he will intentionally do things he knows I can't ignore, such as standing up in his chair at the dinner table. The other night he was doing that and when I asked him to, "sit down or get down," he looked at me, grinned, and raised both of his little hands into the air. OK seriously?? It was all I could do not to burst out laughing but of course I had to maintain my composure.
I've been reading about discipline lately and I have found some techniques (more rules of thumb really) that I'd like to try to implement. The two that come to mind are, "The three C's - calm, caring and consistent" as well as the "90:10 ratio," which states that interactions with your child should be 90 parts positive and 10 parts negative or better. The thing is...these articles do not say anything I don't already know. My experience with theories is that they work wonderfully in a book, with the ideal child in mind. In practice, however, things are a bit more complicated. Interactions with real children are often more complex than the books can portray. It's frustrating to read or know something, then try it out and end up with a different outcome than you expected.
Consistency between caregivers is the other huge factor. For the most part, Michael and I do pretty well in this department; however, our little smarty has already figured out which parent to ask for which item. He knows, for example, that Daddy is more likely to turn on the TV than Mommy, or that Mommy is more likely to let him practice flushing the potty than Daddy. Did I mention he's not even two yet? He is definitely socially motivated. He picks up on our moods and our tones of voice quickly, probably even more so than we realize. He also dislikes being separated or withdrawn from others. These are things I'm trying to fit into the grand schema of our disciplinary plan for him. We're still navigating the waters and figuring it all out one day at a time but I'm trying to get it together.
In writing this post, I've just come up with the idea that I should try to think of myself as a parent in my classroom. What advice would i give myself if I could be on the outside? Hmmm...that's going to require more thought on my part but it's an interesting idea. For now, I think it also bears mentioning that as naughty as he can be, our little one is also still quite sweet. Every time I cough or sneeze he says, "besh ooo Mommy" and just about melts my heart. It's all really about balancing between and navigating the (often abrupt) changes in his demeanor. He's definitely a smart, strong-willed, funny, strong, sweet little boy. The key is helping him (which will inadvertently help us) to become the best he can be. A tall order but I'm trying...
