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Monday, January 4, 2010

But I Don't Want to Go...

I know I'm about to sound incredibly crabby and whiny, but I can't even help it. School starts again for me the day after tomorrow, and I honestly just do not want to go back yet. The "break" flew by entirely too quickly, and I am NOT ready to go back!! {Insert mental image of me kicking and screaming here}

There are a lot of things.

School is a lot harder with a baby than I ever imagined it would be...honestly last semester surprised me. Before Charlie, I can remember wondering what all those women who were moms before me and in school full-time were complaining about. At least they had babies!! Funny how I have eaten a lot of my own words since becoming a mom. It's a job that is inherently more difficult than it looks to casual observers.

And this coming semester entails both math and physics, neither of which are easy subjects for me.

Which brings me to my next point, I wish I could just be "Mom" for a little while longer. I'm very much NOT looking forward to all the multitasking that comes with being a full time student, wife, and mommy. The managing of chores, school projects, preparation...and so on. It's honestly quite exhausting at times. This morning after my shower, Charlie was ready for a nap so I cuddled up in bed with him for a few extra minutes of mommy/baby time. It was simply delicious, just me and my baby snuggling close with nothing else on the to-do list. I honestly wish I could have more of that before all the chaos begins again.

That's not to say that it will all be bad. I'm well aware that I have it better than many moms out there, simply because I don't have to be gone from the house five full days a week...and my son gets to stay here where he's most comfortable. I guess I'm just in whiny mode tonight, and I need to get a grip so I can start the semester off on the right foot. Hopefully my little rant will help!


8 comments:

Kel said...

You can whine all you want. It is a good reason to whine!

Evergreen said...

Definitely whine and rant! I would too. I will start working p/t in March and I am so not looking forward to it -- even though my LO will be home with dad most of the time. It's not just the juggling of time and obligations, it's having to divide your attention away from baby. Nab those snuggle times whenever you can!

Becky said...

Understandable!! Can't imagine......so, don't like it if you don't want to! ;)
It will all be worth it!

BB said...

Ugh! You are speaking from my heart again, Melba. Last night, R took her first steps and after she went to bed I just cried! I feel like I am so busy surviving that I don't get to "just enjoy" quite enough. Don't get me wrong, I take every moment I can get, but it doesn't seem like enough. I feel like it is flying by so fast and I just want time to stand still. I just want to soak up every moment, but here I am at work. Oh boo!
Anyway, I get it. We can whine a little... it doesn't mean we aren't thankful for what we had. BEYOND thankful!!

Ashley said...

Uggg. I take 1 photography class for 3 hours on Tuesdays and it's enough to kill me. I'm soo sorry but remember you're bettering yourself and setting such a great example for Charlie that you value education. My mom went back to school in my elementary years and I still remember her missing all my soccers games, etc. Get it done now and enjoy more later! Good luck!!

Tracey said...

TOTALLY AGREE..teaching, home and baby....ugghh! I thought I was good at multitasking!

Debbie B said...

I hear you. It's just for a time and then things will change again with your schedule. The thing that gets me through the days is knowing I get to come home to my beautiful daughter. Makes everything just a bit easier.

sanjeet said...

. It is a good reason to whine!
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