Saturday, June 26, 2010

Our Busy "Baby!"

Whew people, I am e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d! I'm going to go out on a limb here but I'm thinking I'm more worn out now, following my "toddler" around than I was when he was a newborn blob who slept at all the wrong times, ate and pooped a lot. Maybe I just don't remember the sleep deprivation of those days but I do know for sure that the current stage in which we now reside feels whirlwindish to me. Even when we don't do much, I end my days feeling like I could just collapse into bed. Anyone who lives in the south will probably laugh at me (and I get that because I used to live in the south too) but maybe my tiredness is partly due to the heat we've been experiencing? It's been over 90 degrees here most days since late May and we try, (our money/environment saving efforts) whenever possible, to leave the AC off. This means that most of the time, Charlie and I sweat it out and play until we drop.

The little boy is at such a volatile stage right now. He's caught between the baby he still is and wanting to do so much...wanting to be like us. Am I the only mama who was annoyed when the baby center weekly update emails switched over to, "My Toddler This Week" right at 12 months of age? I don't know about you all but I'm not sold on the idea that babies turn into toddlers just because they learn to walk. I'm finding the balancing act between letting him experience/explore and keeping him safe to be quite challenging. Then there's the frustration factor. He's trying so hard to learn to communicate and express himself (he has his own ideas about what we should do and when we should do it, imagine that!) but he can't so instead we get this a lot of the time right now:

This is him right before throwing a really big fit, including "going boneless" onto the floor and everything. *sigh*

We also get the discerning/serious/I'm not so sure face a lot these days, especially when we're around new people or doing something out of the ordinary. And he's extremely clingy with me lately too. I realize it's all normal development and par for the course but it's tough to manage his moodiness sometimes. The clinging to mama part I actually (mostly) like, if I'm being honest but it does wear me down too.

Actually these are all very positive signs of him being developmentally on target, which I know and which (of course) makes me very happy - I guess I'm just venting.

And it's not like I started this whole parenting thing as a newbie. I'm well educated and I had lots of pre-motherhood experience...with other people's kids! I guess in some ways I thought I knew it all - it's only now that I'm realizing I didn't know the half of it! One thing I've done a lot throughout these past (nearly) 14 months is eat my own words! The job is just so much harder when you're the person who is ultimately responsible for that little persons' well being and long-term character development. Talk about pressure! No parent wants to screw their kids up but the fact is, we all have strengths and weaknesses and we all make mistakes, no matter how hard we try. I think the most difficult thing for me is fighting my own desire to be the "perfect" mom, whatever that even is. I'm definitely true to my Leo nature in the pride department and I struggle with putting that aside sometimes.

Good grief I even exhaust myself! I'm done with my rant for now. Hope you're all having a fantastic weekend!


Hoping for a Miracle~~ said...

I am right there with you my little man wears me out and I am exhausted by the time he goes to be these days! But I wouldn't change it for the world!! He is SO busy these days and its so fun to see all the new things his is doing and saying its crazy! I don't know about Charlie, but my guy repeats EVERYTHING we say, can't believe how much his is saying and understands it too, blows my mind!!

Charlie is so cute! I love all the pictures of him! Hope you guys are having a fabulous summer!!!

Evergreen said...

It's really exciting to read about what Charlie is doing now, as Pinecone is 2 months behind him, so it's a fun preview. Yes, I had no idea HOW MUCH HARDER the job of being a mom is than I thought. But we do the best that we can, and our babies thrive because of and despite us. I love the new picture header.

Debbie B said...

LOVE your new header.
The exhaustion will only get worse. Isabel is in a huge mommy phase. I can't get out of her eye site right now without her going crazy and following me. It is the best feeling but the biggest thing to wear you down. I know those mood swings well.

We're always hardest on ourselves. I've had plenty of experience working with kids too but parenting your own 24/7 is so much different. But now when I work with kids I get to put what I've learned parenting into the way I am with the kids. It's made me better at what I love to do, teach kids.

Leah W said...

lol, yep, you found me :)

i was at her baby shower (late to that too!) and i think i may have seen you there too. it was nice to meet you in real life, i loved seeing how happy your little boy is. he is precious. as you could tell, i loved touching his soft hair!

talk to you soon :)


Anonymous said...

Yup, a 14 months old energy machine. She doesn't want to hold my hand as we cross the park parking lot she wants to do everything herself. She's an "independent" big girl. (sigh) Next thing she goes down a slide and lands in the ball pit and I'm there to comfort when she cries ;-). I'm with you. Babyhood was a lot easier.

BB said...

Did I write this post? Hehe! R is so much in the same spot, only she is ALL toddler. As far as she is concerned, there is no baby left. Oh, and I am too tired to write anymore here!


TXMom2B said...

I hear you! I definitely prefer the toddler stage, but, oh my word, it is exhausting.

Debbie B said...

I had to wait until I got my next baby center email to make sure. But I agree they did it too quickly, but watch out when he turns two. Mine now says my preschooler which is so not fair. She's still a toddler. Makes me want to cry.

Jamie said...

i have been so exhausted lately that i can barely even comment on other blogs! haha! milo turns 17 months on wednesday and has been walking/running since he was 9.5 is absolutely CRAZY!! there are days that i just want to cry.......then he takes a nap and for a couple of hours i can re-group until the energizer bunny wakes up again. ;)
it's so exciting and yet so incredibly exhausting all at the same house has never been more disorganized and chaotic.....however my life would never ever ever be the same without him.....
so fun to hear all that charlie is up to these days! there really is nothing better than being a mom, but yes.....i have never been more exhausted! :)

Anonymous said...

I totally agree, and yes, you will miss this clinging to Mama stage when it ends because that's where I am right now. I think that in comparison, babies seem easier because that's biologically necessary to encourage fertile couples to reproduce when their older kids are toddlers :)