Thursday, May 29, 2008

Words for Her

Well, as many of you know, I've been working diligently on our "Dear Birthparent" letter. This is (in my opinion) on of the greatest challenges of domestic infant adoption. What do you say to the {future} woman who is going to give you the greatest gift you've ever received? It's like a resume for your do you put THAT on paper?! But...after several attempts and some re-wording here and there I've got at least the basic plan for what I want to say. I'm still going to work on this a little and 'pretty it up' so to speak, but this is the gist of our letter. To any of you who have done this before, I would LOVE some genuine and honest feedback, both on what you think works well and what you think I can do better. I have read so many tips from different sources, but in the end I jut took a stab in the dark and wrote from my heart. I really want honest, constructive, and critical opinions because (of course!!) I want this letter to be the best it can possibly be. THANK YOU to everyone out there who is reading along with me and sending the wonderful advice, support and are all a Godsend to me!!

And without further ado...the letter of a lifetime:


We are Michael and Melanie and we are grateful to you for reading our letter. We know considering adoption for your baby must be very difficult for you and we are thankful for the courage and strength you are putting forth as you make the best possible plan for your baby and his or her future. We want you to know we respect you and your decision to make an adoption plan for your child, and we will do everything we can to put your mind at ease if you should choose us to be adoptive parents for your baby.

Our Story:

We have wanted to be parents for as long as we can both remember. Now that we have chosen adoption as our method for creating the family we have so longed for, we are very excited; we can’t wait to become parents!! We are eager to experience all the joys of watching little ones grow up into strong, happy, healthy, and confident adults. We believe in honesty, respect, loyalty, kindness, and strong family ties. These are all values we hope to instill in the child we adopt. We believe children are a blessing and we think they should be nurtured and loved, with strong role models and positive reinforcement as they learn and grow. We want the child we adopt to know who they are as a whole person, and we plan on sharing their own, unique adoption story with them from the get go. We will be open and honest with our future child about his or her adoption story from the very beginning. We are excited about the rewards of open adoption and we want to work with you to make an adoption arrangement that will put your mind at ease about the safety and care of your baby. We know that not all aspects of parenting will be easy, but we are confident we will be excellent parents. We plan to always be open and honest with the child we adopt, with you, and with each other so that the child’s need’s can come first.

We have been married since 1996 and we have a strong, loving relationship. We are best friends first and we work together to take care of the day-to-day occurrences in life, as well as the bigger life-changing events. We are a fun loving couple with zest and exuberance for life. We enjoy spending quiet evenings at home together, as well as being out and about, experiencing all life has to offer. We have two dogs, Ditto and Dinah whom we love very much. We consider them members of our family and they are an important part of our daily lives. Michael and I have many different interests and we tend to complement each other very well. Even though we sometimes approach situations differently, we work very well together and we end up with the best of both worlds. We support each other through thick and thin. Though we are blessed with a wonderful marriage, a comforting home and excellent relationships with our friends and family, we were extremely saddened when we found out getting pregnant was not going to be easy for us. We’ve been through many years of infertility treatments and hoping for that special little miracle to happen in our lives. Even though infertility has been very difficult for us, we have remained strong together.

A Little More About Melanie:

I am a creative, caring person and I love babies, children, and dogs. I’m a photographer and a gardener. I often spend time outside, either in my garden or taking nature photographs. I’m currently in school for elementary education and I’m excited about becoming a teacher and continuing to have the kind of flexible schedule that will work very well with a young family. From a very early age I have loved kids and babies. I’ve always thought of myself as a mom first and foremost, and I can’t wait until that dream becomes reality. I’m very close to my family, and my two sisters are my best friends. I also have a strong bond with both my nephew, Nick and my niece, Ava. I’ve been lucky to develop very strong connections with each of them from the time they were babies. They bring me a lot of joy. I currently divide my time between school, substitute teaching, and caring for my niece, and another baby girl, Rebecca. I am a very happy, positive, and outgoing person. I cherish the relationships in my life more than anything.

A Little More About Michael:

I am a very technical guy and I love computers and science fiction. I am fun-loving and humorous, always trying to find ways to make people laugh. I work as a “Software Librarian” in the electronic banking industry. At work I am known for making co-workers laugh and for bringing a great sense of humor to my office. I am pretty skilled with computers and it makes me happy that I can help people when they have technical problems or computer issues. I also love watching movies and I am an avid reader, with a special love of graphic novels. Amongst our family and friends, I’m sort of like the “class clown,” always making jokes and keeping people entertained with my stories and interesting ideas. Melanie says I am often the life of the party, with weird and wacky information that I find in all sorts of bizarre places. When I’m around I like to make sure people are amused or laughing. Though I do have a knack for humor, Melanie also says I am a very comforting presence for her. She likes that she can rely on me through the good times and bad, and she says I make her feel safe.

After a lot of soul searching, Michael and I have decided what we want most is to have a family and experience all the joys and wonders of parenting side by side. We have many hopes and dreams for our future and we look forward to sharing our lives with the little boy or girl we will be blessed with. We are excited about days to come when we can nurture and support our future little ones as they grow into happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults. We want to help our future children be strong and successful. We want the child we adopt to have an ongoing relationship with you and your family as he or she grows. If you decide we are the right adoptive parents for your baby, we will welcome you, as well as your baby into our home and our hearts forever.

With all our love,

Michael and Melanie


Annie said...

I didn't have to write one prior to getting our babies as we went the foster route. I've been contemplating writing one now that we've had them for 3 1/2 years, just for her to have to know how much I love and appreciate her for being the mother of my children. I can feel the thought and love put into this, wishing you well.

Bri said...

Hi! I just came accross your blog and love that we are about at the same step in the process! Wishing you luck and peace!

Becky said...

This truly sounds wonderful! I think, having done two myself, that this is very well written, very thoughtful toward her, and sounds very honestly from the heart! Great job! Unless your SW directs you otherwise, I don't think I would change anything.

Tracey said...

Great work Melba...since you published yours...I'll go ahead and put mine on too...We had to do a seperate autobiography (which was 5 pages), so our birthmother letter is only 1 page and it's in the front of our scrapbook to her....I think you did an amazing job!!! Any child would be lucky to have you as parents...very open and honest!!!

Tracey said...

I just posted the letter we sent in...if your curious...good luck. God Bless!

Ashley said...

What a great letter!!! It is very genuine and sweet. :)

Nancy said...

Really nice letter, Melba. I think that what you really want to do in these letters is demonstrate that you're a loving couple who will provide a nurturing home for a family. I think you both really did that. Bob and I haven't written our letter yet, but we're getting ready. Seeing yours is very helpful in our process.

Yoka said...

What a wonderful letter. You've done a great job with it and every baby can be thankful to have you as his or her parents.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog. I look forward to being on this journey together. And don't be surprised if it happens quicker than you thought.