Two Months in Review...

Our baby boy is two months old today, which is more than a little hard for me to believe! He is growing so much, and he seems to learn something new every single day! Lately he's started babbling a lot, which is music to my ears! We go to the doctor tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to what they have to say, but dreading Charlie's shots.

The last two months have flown by in a whirlwind, but at the same time, there have been some deliciously slow days too. I feel so fortunate to have been able to drink in the sight of my son, and memorize his features. This time with him has been priceless, and I will cherish these memories for the rest of my days.

Charlie is a sweet little boy who loves to cuddle, and who smiles a lot. He is everything I've ever dreamed of, and I already can't imagine or remember what I did before he came home. It seems impossible, but I fall more and more in love with him every single day.

My new role as "Mommy" has been everything and nothing I expected all at the same time. The job has been both easier, and harder than I ever thought it would be. There are times when I look at Charlie, and the years that lie ahead seem absolutely daunting. I so want to do everything right by him, but I know I won't. Then there are times when I look at his sweet face, and I am reminded that sometimes love really is enough.

I actually enjoy washing his cloth diapers, and keeping his bottles clean and ready to go. I've never been an immaculate house keeper...and I'm still not, but I do force myself to do at least the basics most days now. I guess the responsibility of chores seems to matter a little more now that there's another person living here.

Charlie is beginning to fall into more regular and predictable patterns these days. He has specific cries for specific needs, and I'm getting pretty good at identifying what he's trying to tell me right away. We have little mini "conversations" now, where he says something in his sweet baby babble, and I respond. We go back and forth until he seems to get tired. He started grasping at objects this week, and he loves to lie under his monkey mobile, or his play mat and coo or bat at his toys.

Michael and I cuddled with him, and sang to him in our bed for about an hour tonight. He was fussing some, and seemed unsettled, but when we started singing, he was quiet and listened intently. We sang all the songs we could remember from our collective childhoods, and little Charlie seemed content. We both truly love being parents, and we are growing into our respective roles a little more each day.

I've been trying to explain in words how this all makes me feel, and even though I can't truly quantify my experiences as a new mom, I can say that I am genuinely fulfilled in my life right now. There were moments of happiness and joy before, but never true fulfillment. I feel at one with myself, and at peace on a deep level these days. I guess the bottom line is that I've been a mom for a long, long time now. The difference is that I'm finally practicing my craft...and loving every moment!