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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Picking out a new one...

I haven't been able to decide whether to blog about this peculiar little incident or not, but it's finally gotten the better of me.

On Monday night, after a somewhat long and lonely day at home, I was at the grocery store. I was shopping and minding my own business when, out of the blue, a little girl of about three ran up under the handle of my cart and said, "mommy...mommy...mama" as she stood there. Needless to say, I was taken aback. I smiled at her and said, "sweetheart I'm not your mommy, do you know where she is?" About that time her dad came around the corner and (in a jovial tone) asked what she was doing. She said "finding mommy" in her sweet little girl voice and then he said, "or picking out a new one there?" That was it...I laughed and they went on down the aisle while I stood there.

I was smiling on the outside, but also feeling...I don't know...a little sad I guess. After that I kept seeing this little family throughout the store, though we didn't exchange any further words. I saw the mommy the girl had been looking for, and strangely she looked nothing like me. I'm sure I'm reading way too much into this one small happenstance, but maybe it was meant as a small reminder that my time is coming?

Normally this wouldn't have been a big deal, but right now, with where we are in the process, and how I've been feeling lately...it hit home for me in a big way. That little girl has no idea of the impact she left on me...no idea how very much I long to hear a little voice calling me mommy for real. The whole experience was only about two minutes long and yet it's one I doubt I'll ever forget...


10 comments:

Bri said...

How many times can I say, "I know what you mean, I know how you feel." I'm right there with you, once again!

Dave Gerhart said...

It's absolutely an affirmation that your time is coming soon! I believe that God speaks in all sorts of ways, and coincidence isn't really in my vocabulary.

Brooke said...

I truly believe in signs - the stork, this happening at the grocery store...if this were a movie, it would have "foreshadowing" written all over it :)

Rebekah said...

Oh, Melba...Me too. Even though it doesn't always feel like it, we ARE going to be moms. What a beautiful little story! There is a mommy/baby bond that just doesn't compare to any other relationship. I've been the cool "auntie" for so long, I'm ready to be that mom that children RUN too. I want it all...I hope it happens for BOTH of us soon!

Tracey said...

I know...hearing that word either breaks my heart or makes me smile and sometimes both! God Bless!

Sarah said...

This little story brought tears to my eyes. I'm a big believer in signs... and even in those few seconds, that little girl saw something in you that spoke "Mommy" to her. You're going to truly be a wonderful one!

hope548 said...

I can imagine how that would give you mixed feelings. I like that you sign your posts as mom-to-be. Such a positive mantra!

alicia said...

I really hope this is a sign!!Its interesting what moments really leave their marks on our lifes!

Becky said...

I too can understand mixed emotions with that one.
Hang in there! It will be your day soon enough......and when yours is running all over the store like a wild monkey, calling you "Mama!", you'll look at everyone looking at you crazily and say, "I've never seen that child before in my life!" :o)

Eileen said...

I'm just jumping on to say that I've really enjoyed reading your blog. A lot of your thoughts are very similar to mine, but you're a much better writer! btw, I didn't think anyone else knew that song "Insensitive"...haven't heard it in forever, but I loved it way back when. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and hope you are matched soon!