Saturday, September 20, 2008

Twice Tagged

Thanks to my friends, Bri and Nancy for the tags. Better late than never, right?! :)


Here are the rules:
1. Write about 5 specific ways blogging has affected you, either positively or negatively.
2. link back to the person who tagged you
3. link back to this parent post
4. tag a few friends or five, or none at all
5. post these rules— or just have fun breaking them

I have a feeling my post is going to get long, so before I start, I'm tagging:

I was going to tag Karen, but she has much bigger fish to fry, check it out!!!

So...five ways blogging has affected me? As Nancy pointed out, being tagged serves as a great way for us to be able to share more background information about ourselves, thereby deepening the connections we've formed. That thought leads me to my first response, which is exactly that, connection. I remember a time (not that long ago) when I was literally craving a link to other people with whom I could talk about adoption. My blog started mostly as an outlet for me, and a way to record our story as it unfolds, but it has become so much more than that. I love the fact that I am seeing families being formed through this blog. People I never would have met IRL that have now, almost magically, affected me in ways I never could have imagined. So to all of you I have connected with, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Second, I would say relief. Sometimes this whole adoption thing can get a little too intense, and reading other blogs lightens that up a bit. Whether relief comes in the form of humor, comfort, friendship, or just simply being able to relate so well to what others are feeling and experiencing...all of these things and more...sort of save me from myself at times, if that makes any sense.

Third, I am surprised by how much I've come to rely upon the advice and support of other pre adoptive and adoptive parents. The many comments I receive on my blog help me to clarify and make sense of some of the complicated and challenging aspects and decisions encompassed in this journey. From simple pondering like when to buy a car seat, to much more complex and involved discussions, such as whether or not to breastfeed an adopted baby; and figuring out exatly what the right words should be for our future birth mother...I imagine my anxiety level would be through the roof without this support system.

Fourth--and this is a negative one, my level of productivity (especially around the house) has plumeted since I discovered this loevely blogging community. Bri pointed out once that she's hopelessly addicted, and I have to share her confession. I log on sometimes, thinking I'm simply going to check my blog and then, all of a sudden two hours (or more) has flown by! In fact, right at this moment I'm looking out our sliding glass door at the grass blowing in the breeze. Yeah...I should NOT be blogging right now!

Last but not least, I would say blogging has provided me with a sense of belonging that I've needed for a long time. I can sometimes have a tendency to isolate myself, or not ask for the support I need. That was especially prevelant during our infertility phase. I felt so alone all through that--and I didn't feel I could really bring it up with my friends and family all that often. I guess I had more of the "suffer in silence" mentality. All I can say now, is thank God for the written word, and for my writing abilities. I've always kept journals, but blogging has been even better than the paper journals I still keep. Blogging comes with strings attached, and with the ability to truly let go and be myself all at the same time. All I can say is that's been really, really good for me.


Eileen said...

M, I think I share the same brain as you (aren't you lucky?). I feel very much the same about my blogging experience so far. But again, you put it much better than I would have! Thanks for tagging me...I feel so...included.

Lisa and John said...

Hi. I want to share my blog with you. Email me at so I can send you an invite.

Anonymous said...

"blogging comes with strings attached..." exactly! well-said. I'm so sorry you didn't have an online community during your IF journey, it really is so wonderful to "meet" people who are going through what you are and you can count on not to say something offensive like "just go on vacation..." :) I feel very similar to what you've described here; bloggers are overcoming the anonymity that most people feel when online.