Monday, May 11, 2009

Charlie's Story

Our baby boy is two weeks old today. Already I'm feeling the time slipping through my fingers like sand. I am cherishing every single moment with him, but even so...some days I feel like I will never get enough. I've been contemplating what parts of Charlie's story I want to share on the blog, and exactly how to do that. It's important for me, as Charlie's mother, to realize that this is no longer just my story. This is now and always will be Charlie's story as well.

Our situation is somewhat unique in today's adoption world. Michael and I always assumed we would have an open relationship with Charlie's birth family; however, because our little boy came to us through the "safe haven" laws of Michigan, that is not to be the case. I feel a little bit sad about this, but I also know that Charlie's birth mother loved him very much. I feel extremely compassionate and grateful towards her. I wish her peace and comfort through what must be a very difficult time in her life.

Before being matched, I heard all the time that our baby would come to us "when the time was right," or when it was "meant to be." As you all know, those things are not easy to hear when you're waiting...but looking at the situation from this side of the fence, I can say they were absolutely true. Charlie's timing in our lives could not have been more perfect!

For one thing, you all know about my April "due date" on our baby registry. As it turns out, I was just a couple weeks premature with my prediction! I've also always had very strong "boy" vibes throughout this whole process. Maybe it was mother's intuition? Here are a few more reasons why I can now see that Charlie was 100% meant to be our precious little boy:

  • We got "the call" when most of my family was right there with us.
  • We waited exactly nine months and one week for our baby to find us.
  • Even though we weren't physically ready for baby, I sort of always imagined it would happen the way it did. Even though it was a whirlwind like nothing I've ever experienced before, I like the fact that we didn't have to wait long between THE CALL and placement.
  • Our baby was born 12 days before Mother's Day
  • Charlie is the fourth grandchild for my parents, now there are two boys and two girls.
  • My sisters two youngest children are close to Charlie's age. Ava is two and Lydia is five months old. My sisters and I have always wanted to raise children together, and now that dream is coming true!
  • I just had a (difficult) conversation with my younger sister about how it would be really hard for me if she got pregnant before we were matched. She even said if that happened, her pregnancy would be one part thrilling and one part heartbreaking. Now neither of us have to worry about that! {Holly if you're reading this, bring on the babies!!}
  • I just finished one of the craziest semesters in my entire college career! I will now have four months to spend with our baby before any alternative care arrangements will need to be made.
  • Since the beginning of our relationship, 13 has been our lucky number. Charlie boy is the 13th member of our immediate family.
  • About three months ago, we saved up the last big chunk of our adoption fund - just in time!
  • I have lots of friends who have little ones within a year of Charlie, or who will be having little ones very soon (Rebekah!) so our baby boy will have play mates!
So far, with a little less than two weeks under my belt, I can say that motherhood fits me like a glove. I always knew I would love being a mom, but this is better than I ever imagined. Every time I look at my little boy, I fall in love with him all over again...he really is my dream come true!


Evergreen said...

It's fun to hear more about how perfect Charlie is for you guys! I love the photos and all the stories - makes me feel very hopeful!

Jill said...

Melba, I am still just so happy for you! I only hope we get placed with a baby as adorable as Charlie! I just LOVE that chocolate skin!
(Plus, you'll be able to give me hair tips! LOL!)
You are right, motherhood fits you like a glove my friend!!
Hugs, Jill

Terri said...

charlie is so beautiful. thank god for safe haven laws. i wish with all my heart every hospital in every state made this available. god bless charlie's birth mother.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing Charlie's story, Melba... it really is the perfect story for your family! And I love, love, LOVE the new header -- Charlie is just absolutely, 100% precious. I can feel how happy you are in your written words, and I'm so, so glad.

michelle said...

such a wonderful story.....I am so happy that you are so happy and settling in so well...
Charlie is a lucky boy to have you....


BB said...

Me, too! Motherhood is amazing. We also feel like there are a lot of things that were perfect with our story... things that were just too perfect to be coincidental.

Thanks for sharing Charlie's story. I still can't believe that our babies are so close together and our timelines are so similar!!

hope548 said...

Isn't it amazing the way things work out exactly as they should? I look at our son all the time and just marvel at how beautiful and perfect he is, and how everything worked out just right. You look at them and realize why you weren't able to conceive, because you were meant to be that little boy's mother. It's all worth it, isn't it?

I'm so glad your dreams have come through. It has been a pleasure to be on this journey with you!

Brooke said...

He defintely was meant to be your baby, and he's only lucky boy - that's for sure!

Kelly said...

Although I'm a firm believer in things happening at the right time - as in when it was meant to happen - I often lose track of that thought, especially in the adoption process that we've just begun. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and congratulations again on little Charlie!

alicia said...

i love this! it really was the perfect time!! yay

Rebekah said...

Melba, I cry EVERY time I come to your blog! :)

I full-heartedly agree on the adoption being "his" story and keeping some of the details private. We have shared a lot about our adoption on the blog and with family, but there are a couple pieces of information that we have not told anyone. They are pieces that will be baby boy's alone. We'll let him share them if he chooses.

I didn't know he was a safe haven baby! Praise God that his beautiful mother chose life!

And I couldn't agree more on the issue of perfect timing :). The wait is brutal. Nothing helps, least of all encouragement from others (usually sounded like empty words). But, it did work out to be perfect...didn't it?

Motherhood more than fits you like a drips off you and onto everyone peeking in (like me!) Love and graciousness pour from your words. I LOVE IT!

I want to be just like you when I grow up!

Anonymous said...

Get the Kleenex ready, it's another Mamma Melba post! :) What a blessing, he is gorgeous. I love the pic of him sleeping with his hand over his face!

Jamie said...

i never believed it when people would tell me that either melba.....but now I do. :)
And just wait.....with each new day that you fall in love with your little one, the love deepens and deepens. Just when I think I can't love milo any more, I do. :)