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Sunday, May 3, 2009

When Love Rushes in


All of you who have preceded me to motherhood told me it would happen, but I only sort of believed it in theory. I truly did not expect to fall so instantaneously in love with one little person. I didn't expect (though I "knew") that all of the pain and longing I have felt all these years would simply melt away the moment his eyes met mine.

We just recently got Charlie to quiet down again after our first real experience with him crying-crying. It really upset me to see him so out of sorts. I know pretty much all the baby soothing tricks in the book, but I completely forgot every single one of them as I was trying to calm him. Thankfully, his crying spell didn't last long, and we were able to problem solve and help him relax, but man...that was intense! He is sleeping soundly in Daddy's arms once again as I type this.

So much has happened in so short a time, ideas and thoughts, and memories are swimming around in my mind. I have so much to do, and there are so many tiny stories I want to tell all of you. I am overwhelmed beyond measure. The outpouring of love and support I have received in response to our news about Charlie has humbled me.

As I was holding my baby boy just now, right after he had fallen back asleep, I wrote him a poem--or maybe these are a few different poems, I'm not really sure. I feel a little self conscious about posting these here - I really don't think of myself as poetic in the slightest. Still, I need to remember all of this, and I do want to share my thoughts.

When Love Rushes in

As my tears whetted
your tiny baby cheeks
I sang you a lullaby

In a moment so divine
your eyes found mine

it was then that I knew...
moments like these are special and few

Your brown skin next to my cream
I'm afraid I'm going to wake from this dream

There is nothing I can say to make you know
But oh...my little boy, I do love you so!


14 comments:

Mrs H said...

Mamma Melba ~ I may have to stop reading your blog. Everytime I do I start crying...I'm getting dehydrated! :-)

You are a poet - it's beautiful - and a wonderful part of his life story.

lots of love heading your way!

Seraphim said...

That's a beautiful poem and a very handsome son you have there. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! xxx

E said...

What a sweet poem, Melba...and such a sweet face! Charlie is adorable! Congratulations to you and your hubby...

Debbie B said...

So glad to hear all the pain is melting away as you fall in love with your son.
It really is a beautiful poem, I almost thought about asking if I could use it in Isabel's scrapbook, changing it for her of course.

Tracey said...

YES IT IS INSTANTANEOUS! AND IT IS NO DIFFERENT THEN IF HE CAME FROM YOUR BODY!

RB said...

So sweet Melba :)

Wendy said...

What a sweet poem! I'm just now catching up on your blog -- I'm SO HAPPY for you and your husband! Your son is just beautiful and the you and your husband look so so happy in the pictures.

Enjoy every minute! Can't wait to read more. :)

kimberly said...

love.love.love. his sweet little face!.....and so happy your heart is soaring, mamma melba!....isn't it a miracle how these things happen...i love seeing the joy and happiness and peace in jamie and matt...it makes MY heart soar to finally see them joying in their son.....and love your words....beautiful!
hugs,
kimberly

Karen said...

This brought tears to my eyes, too. How beautiful!

Anne said...

What a sweet poem, for a sweet little boy:)

Kyle and Crystal said...

Congrats on your little man! He is quite the handsome boy! I heard about you from Andi and wanted to say CONGRATS! Being a momma is the best!

Crystal
blessed by an open adoption

GsMomAswifey said...

I hope you don't mind me posting...I've been following your story for awhile. I found your blog thru my friend E...I just wanted to congratulate you and your dh.

I'm so happy for you two!

Rebekah said...

I know today that I am truly healed from the horrors of infertility. I know this because there isn't one ounce of envy in my heart. I cried tears of joy reading this post. YOU DESERVE IT ALL. I know exactly what you mean when you said you "instantly" fell in love. That's how I felt the first time I saw baby boy's ultrasound...His obscure black and white face captured my heart in a way I didn't even know possible.


The picture you posted is BEAUTIFUL. We have to get our baby boys together this summer and have a photo shoot!

KLTTX said...

I am new to your blog but wanted to say congratulations on your beautiful baby boy.

Your poem is great and I know that one day Charlie will love it too.