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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Emotional Again

As I'm looking at our sweet little boy today and realizing just how fast he's growing, I can't help getting a little emotional. He's going to be a whopping three months old in only three more days, which is unbelievable to me! Summer is coming to an end all too quickly. I have truly cherished this time with him, and I'm not at all ready for it to be over. This has been the summer of my dreams, and I feel so blessed we have little Charlie with whom we can share our lives.

Sometimes I forget. Never that he's our son, but more that he's really here to stay. I keep having these tiny moments where I realize over again that we have a son. Watching two mothers in the parking lot last week, holding their little boys as they pointed up to airplanes in the sky, it hit me again. Tears came to my eyes as I realized I have a little boy that I will do that with someday too. And then I think about the holidays...what will Christmas be like this year, with our little one sharing in the joys of the season? And then his first birthday, first hair cut, Easter...there are so many firsts and milestones! All these amazing moments that will now come our way because we have a son...moments I've been waiting for my entire life! Truly, it humbles me, and I am so thankful for Charlie's enchanting presence, his comforting warmth against me as he sleeps.

For a while after we brought our baby boy home, I cried every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. I would look at him or kiss the top of his head, and I just could not believe that he was real...that he was our son. Those moments have faded as he's grown, but the feelings haven't. In fact, my feelings for him continue to grown stronger every day, which seems as though it should be impossible, given how very much I love him.

I don't know where all this is coming from...my thoughts are sort of a jumbled mess today, but I'm overflowing with awe and amazement as I look at Charlie. I wish I could freeze time and just sit and hold him forever...but then of course, I want to see him grow up to be a strong, healthy, and happy man too. I guess it's the inevitable yin-yang of motherhood, who knows?

And with that...I leave you with a couple more pictures of the sweet little man. These were taken last week, by one of my best friends, Molly. She and I were playing in the studio that I set up to do portraits of her daughters. She captured some great shots of Mr. Baby and me!



19 comments:

Jill said...

i getcha girl! i really really do. beautiful post. Keep enjoying that boy of yours!
hugs, jill

Malloryn said...

Mamma Melba, this post made me tear up, just thinking of all of the firsts you and Michael will experience with Charlie! I am so happy for you guys. Those pictures are great... so much love being exchanged in those eyes :)

Rebekah said...

Melba he is beautiful! They grow so fast! I can't believe Ty is 5 weeks old already...Our babies are growing up!!!

Tracey said...

That smile that he saves just for you melts your heart...Samuel does that to me too.

Anne said...

He is precious. I love the pictures of him and your love for him is overwhelming. Reading your post just made my day!!

G & H said...

Oh that was all so beautiful! I can't wait for my day like that!!!!

Jamie said...

melba ~ this is beautiful and so is little charlie. :) (i still smile everytime i see his name ~ i love it!)
I feel so much the same way......all of your words i can feel deep in my heart. :) these children have blessed us beyond measure haven't they. i feel so grateful to have been chosen to be milo's mommy through adoption.
thank you so much for sharing your heart. :)

Wendy said...

I love the pictures - you can see how very happy you both are!

I'm so glad that you have all those things to look forward to with your son -- each holiday, each special day. I can't wait! We're looking forward to the holidays in such a different way than we ever have this year... :)

Andi-bo-bandi said...

Melba... it's been 15 months and I still can't believe KJ is here to stay. It never, never, never gets old. :)

Nancy said...

It's totally understandable that you would get so emotional. This is such a beautiful thing. And I love the pictures. I can't believe how much he's grown!

Wendy said...

I have a favor to ask! You know how you have the photos in the header at the top of your blog? Did you use Scrapblog to make it or some other program? If you used scrapblog, can you tell me how to save the picture as a jpg, so I can upload it to my blog? I did it once before and can't remember how I did it! It's driving me crazy :) Thanks!!!

holly said...

I love your appreciation of all the little things that make up life with Charlie! Those are the types of details I dream about experiencing someday...especially your anticipation of the holidays with your family. I love your pics, too!

Becky said...

TOO PRECIOUS!!!! LOVE those pics!! Could he seriously get any cuter??!!

KLTTX said...

Beautiful post and gorgeous little boy!

Karen said...

That last photo is to-die-for cute! Yet again, I got teary reading your words because they echo my thoughts and feelings.

stillthinkingagain said...

I cried while reading this... I can so relate to everything you wrote, and I long to be on the other side. I'm so happy for you -- and I LOVE the pics of you & Charlie laughing at each other. Priceless.

hope548 said...

So often your posts are exactly what I would write if I had your eloquence. This is one of them. I can say that I am proud to know EXACTLY what you mean. Beautiful post and beautiful photos!

theygrowinyourheart said...

It's really amazing and it never, ever changes. I have moments that literally stop me in my track when I look at Lily and think, "There is my daughter." It's such a miracle.
Melba, he is so beautiful. I've missed everything, but I wanted to wish you a HUGE congrats! I can't wait to catch up on all that's been going on! :)

Debbie B said...

Beautiful pictures.
I still have those moments. Especially lately when our decision to grow our family via adoption was challenged. Makes me fall even more in love with my precious daughter.