365 Days Later, Part Three - Today was the Day!

Do you remember THIS news? Today was the day last year when we got THE CALL, as we were sitting at dinner with most of my family, as well as my sister's future in-laws. That day was shocking, surreal, joyful, unbelievable, scary, overwhelming, exciting, everything all rolled into one.

I will never forget how I felt when that call finally came. My hands were shaking and the room was spinning. I'll never forget the shouts of joy as I put the phone to the side and looked at my family (who had, by that time, figured out that something was happening and were staring intently at my end of the table.) I said, "We have a baby boy!" and all I remember is an eruption of excitement as my older sister, Nan literally landed in my lap from her place across the table from me. People seemed to be right up in my face, asking a million questions, though I know that was just my perception because I was overwhelmed.

I was so happy for my little sister, Holly. That was the night of her pinning ceremony for graduating from nursing school. That had been a long road for her too so our family was in full celebration mode. It was hard for me to concentrate on anything but the baby I was about to meet but I did the best I could trying to remain present.

Actually I sobbed off and on through most of the ceremony. People around me kept looking but for once in my life, I just let the tears flow, unchecked, down my cheeks. They started when my older sister gave me the "Mother's Blessing" ring she had been carrying in her purse for...years, while she waited for our baby. I was doing okay up until she slipped that into my hand. I walked out to the lobby and she followed. She hugged me and I just sobbed on her shoulder for several minutes.

Come to think of it, I cried pretty regularly (A LOT) for about the first month of Charlie's life. Thinking of that now, I'm pretty sure those tears were important. They helped me officially close that chapter of loss and grief in my life and move on...opening my heart to the blessings of motherhood.

Wow. That's all I can really say. My eyes fill with tears again now thinking back to that day, when our whole lives changed forever. When we found out about a precious, tiny baby boy who would become our son and who has since filled our home and our hearts with more love than can really be measured.